I know, how can I say that right? Do you HAVE an Elf on the Shelf? If not, don’t judge. Ever wake up at 3 am in a panic because you forgot to move Sonny Sugarsocks? Oh, Sonny Sugarsocks is the name of our Elf on the Shelf, who by the way has his own christmas stocking and presents under the tree already. Who gets greeted in the morning? Me? No.. Sonny Sugarsocks gets lovingly greeted by my children as they happily run around looking for him.
But here is the question of the day ; have you ever awoken at 5 am with your kids only to realize you FORGOT to move the f-ing Elf?
time: 5:11 am
scene: you hear the pitter patter of little feet. Sure it sucks that your kids get up so early, but … OH SHIT! You forgot to move the elf! You run, knocking over everything in your path, including the two year old, only to find the oldest, the smartest, the hardest to trick standing there sad-faced with tears in her eyes. ”He didn’t move… why, why didn’t he move?” she squeaks, barely able to contain her sadness. Now here is where you get creative. Remember when you forgot to be the tooth fairy? This is like being the tooth fairy EVERY NIGHT! You were quick with a story then, you’ve got this! ”Oh, when he does not go back to the North Pole it is because you guys were so GOOOOOOD!!!!!!” You smile, like a maniac and look beseechingly at your partner with a ‘back me up’ face. ”Yes,” he says. “You guys were just soooo good yesterday!” But then you see it, the wheels start working in the 8 year olds mind. She is remembering the time out yesterday, the no TV punishment, the no dessert ruling that all happened … yesterday. You see it on her face, doubt. ”Oh, I guess so.” She says doubtfully. But here is where you have the upper hand, they WANT to believe, against all odds.
Thankfully, my 8 year old wants to believe in the magic of this Elf on the Shelf!
So the moral of the story is this: if you want a peaceful holiday without disappointing your kids and possibly destroying their belief in Christmas, skip the elf. Trust me. And if you are smugly sitting there thinking “Oh, I would NEVER forget to move that elf, I am a much better mother…” I call shenanigans and bullshit on you!
You will forget, my friend.
You WILL forget.